“What comes into our minds when we think about God is the most important thing about us.” -A.W. Tozer Two years ago, I asked God a question. After completing an equipping class focused one simple question Jesus asked his disciples, I continued to seek answers and asked the Lord to examine my heart and what my true beliefs were about His character . In Mark 8:29, Jesus asked his disciple Peter, "But what about you?" he asked. "Who do you say I am?" Peter answered, "You are the Messiah." I often imagine Jesus turning to me and asking me the same simple question, and although I knew Christ at an early age, I always struggled with my identity and doubted He loved me. I knew He had redeemed me from a traumatic past of abuse and abandonment, which manifested itself later in my life as fear, shame, codependency, pride, isolation, and depression. I desperately sought my identity in my academic and athletic performance, perfectionism, inappropriate relationships with men, and self –sufficiency, ultimately leaving me empty, depressed, and even suicidal after the decision to have an abortion at the age of 26. When I finally came to the end of myself 6 years ago, I found grace, healing, restoration, and my true identity in the patient and faithful arms of Jesus Christ. Although the Lord had redeemed my past, I was still struggling with deep internal feelings of unworthiness and trusting the Lord completely. So I asked God a question, “Lord, will you show me more of who you are? Show me who I am in you and make me into the woman you want me to be. Do what you must. I trust you.” God is always faithful to answer, just not in the ways we expect. I thought my years of struggle were behind me and I poured myself into serving and leading at church, joined community group of women, and even started living with a roommate instead of alone. I experienced sweet healing learning more God’s character through ministries like Someone Cares and Shelter from the Storm, and even led in Regeneration. Although I was pouring myself into service and involved in community, I continued to struggle with feelings of failure, grief over the loss of my daughter, perfectionism, people- pleasing, rejection, and ultimately began doubting my identity in Christ. I cried out to the Lord to show me who He was and refine and prune my heart to allow me to experience the truth of His character on a deeper and more intimate level. In a still and quiet voice, the Lord answered the cry of my heart with,” Ok, my precious one, this will hurt, but trust me, I love you. You are mine. “ I never imagined how the Lord would use one of the most difficult seasons of my life this past year to test my faith, refine my heart, and ultimately reveal more of who He really was. The Lord has used this past year of suffering, loss, pain, and disappointment to continue to reveal His character in ways I never thought possible. He has been my faithful provider and healer when both my father and stepfather (whom I had no relationships with) had strokes 2 months apart and a relationship I thought was heading for marriage suddenly ended in the middle of it all. I cannot begin to describe the feelings of loneliness, anger, confusion, and fear I felt through this period of suffering, not only for my heart, but my family. I felt helpless, alone, confused, and suffered so much grief I struggled to get out of bed. But the Lord promises in Hebrews 13: 5, “…Never will I leave you, never will I forsake you.” God has used these hardships, his word, and his people to refine and mature my heart and mind and reveal parts of His character I would have never known otherwise. I can be still and truly know that He is God, that He loves me, is for me, and faithful to do what He says He will do. He is the ultimate healer and has used the pain and suffering of this past year to begin to redeem the brokenness of my family and faithfully answer prayers I had prayed years ago to do what seemed impossible. When I asked God for miracles, I thought He would bless me with more money, a godly husband, and a family. Instead, His plans were to show me just how sufficient He was in the midst of the storm and used the health issues of my fathers to change my heart and redeem our relationships that once seemed hopelessly severed. He transformed my heart and used me to forgive, pray for, and serve my fathers instead of living with anger, bitterness, and grief over the past. He continues to create beauty from ashes (Isaiah 61:3), clarity from chaos (1 Corinthians 14:33), and ultimately life from death (Romans 4:17). Only through faith, prayer, time spent reading and meditating on His truth in the Bible, and support from loving friends and community have I come to know Christ in a deeper and more intimate way. When we spend time experiencing more of who our loving Savior is, we can rest and experience His fullness of joy and accept who we truly are in Him. We can live with freedom and purpose knowing we are who we are, because of who He is. And if He says we are loved and are saved by grace… then we are, because He is God. So who do I say God is? Now I understand why Jesus asked such as simple question. He doesn’t want a cookie cutter legalistic answer. He doesn’t want someone else’s opinion or a detached impersonal version of who we think He is. He wants a personal relationship with Him so we can share with others how amazing His grace and salvation are. He wants us to truly learn the vastness of His character and desire to know Him more intimately. So I can smile with sweet assurance and say, “ Yes Lord, You are the Messiah.” So who do I say God is?
Matthew 16: 13-18 Reflection:
The Greatness of Our God
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These are my notes from a recent Tim Keller Sermon from their RISE campaign. He is the pastor at Redeemer Presbyterian Church in NYC. Isaiah 60:1-11,18-21 No longer will violence be heard in your land, nor ruin or destruction within your borders, but you will call your walls Salvation and your gates Praise. The sun will no more be your light by day, nor will the brightness of the moon shine on you, for the Lord will be your everlasting light, and your God will be your glory. Your sun will never set again, and your moon will wane no more; the Lord will be your everlasting light, and your days of sorrow will end. Then all your people will be righteous and they will possess the land forever. They are the shoot I have planted, the work of my hands, for the display of my splendor.”
The passage Title is called The Future of The Kingdom A foretelling of of a Future Heaven that is to come see Revelation 21-24 for more. Some Observations: The nations are coming together to give praise, offerings, and, glory to God V.6,There is absence of violence V.18, the people’s purpose is to display God's Completion of his work V. 21. Paradise is restored from the Original Creation (Genesis 1) before we messed up.(Genesis 3"The Fall"). One thing To point out from these passages is there was work in the original paradise, there will be work in the new heaven, and God works too. Wealth, Children, The camels, and precious metals all brought by the nations are products of work to enjoy. The Importance and Dignity of Work. We as a culture see work differently. If you look to other ancient myths they teach us that work is demeaning: I.E. Pandora's Box, A box was given to Pandora to not be opened but upon opening all the evils of the world were released, including work. The Enuma Elish a Babylonian creation myth claims Gods created humans to do all there work so they could sit back knowing it is hard work to upkeep the world. The Bible unlike other beliefs teaches us that work is good In Genesis you see God enjoying working. He made something and then he would say it is good, made something else and it was good. He loved work so much he made it for us as well so we could enjoy it. If you look at the products of work brought by the people, it was flocks coming from farmers and precious metals coming from miners. Simple yet effective trades of work. Some implications of work are: God feeds us, clothes us, and shelters us. He is our provider! (Matthew 6). |
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